Thoughts on Comedy@SCA's Beyond Bridesmaids Panel

I spent a glorious afternoon listening to five amazing comedy writers talk about their lives--where they started, how they "made it" as writers, and their perspectives on breaking into the industry. Some experiences stories were specific to women, most were not. All of the thoughts shared were enlightening and empowering.

Thank you to USC's School of Cinematic Arts for offering this panel for free to the public. See the full panel details here.

My takeaways from the panel:

ON WRITING

Don't See What You Like? Write It
Tracy Oliver, writer / producer / actor of The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl and more, another smartie who completed her undergraduate degree at Stanford, didn't see roles for the kind of black women she knew existed--so she wrote them. When Tracy wrote her own story, she added another dimension to the way we view awkward people, nerdy people, and yes, women and black people too.

Don't Know What to Write? Write What You Want to See
Katie Dippold, celebrated writer (in my books) of The Heat and Parks and Recreation, loved buddy cops growing up. (She aspired, at one point, to join the FBI.) She always imagined a buddy cop montage that--instead of featuring the odd couple on motor cycles, each with a beach babe (gal) behind them--featured herself and her gal cop counterpart on the motor cycles, each with a beach babe (guy) spooning them. So she wrote The Heat.

Finding Your Style
Although it's not for my lengthy circumlocution, Jen Statsky, also a writer on Parks and Recreation and on Hello Ladies, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and more, realized that Twitter was perfect for her style of humor: short jokes. So she wrote and wrote and wrote then one day A.D. Miles (Head Writer of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon) DM-ed her and the rest is history in the making.

ON YOUR MINDSET

Stop Chasing That A+
Dana Fox, creator of Ben and Kate and writer / producer of tons of great comedies, was a self-proclaimed approval seeker. Even as a smart, successful, accomplished Stanford undergrad and then USC's Stark Producing Program grad, Dana had to teach herself to stop "chasing that A+" in life. In other words, to stop chasing perfection and approval. (A mindset she suspects is more common in women.) Her advice? Stop chasing the approval. You are going to fail at some point. Stop fearing it. When it happens, learn from it and carry on.

Your Win is My Win
Bridesmaid's success was a success not just for all women, but for all comedy writers, movie makers, comedians. It's easy to view success as a block of cheese with a finite number of slices to go around, but the good news is, we are creators: we create our own cheese. (Dana kept coming back to this cheese metaphor. It stuck for me, but may be totally confusing for you.) Which leads me to my next takeaway...

Help Each Other
We know how hard it is to get started in this confusing, amorphous industry. When you can, reach out to people whose work you admire, even if their resumes are light, and take them under your wing. Conversely, if you've got no credits and little experience, keep creating, keep working, keep volunteering, and be prepared. (Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.)

ON OTHER STUFF

Manage Your Money
You won't get paid for awhile, but when you do, save it, because you it might be three years until your next paycheck. Remember all the people who will take a cut of it before you go on a spending spree: agent, manager, Uncle Sam, rent, bills, just to name a few.

Women Must Be Likeable -- Nope!
Dana commented that viewers are often harder on women. For a female character to gain an audience on television, she must be likeable. She pointed out how women like Tina Fey have broken this rule, proving that a female character does not have to be likeable to be successful. I'd also like to point to Elaine of Seinfeld, Grace of Will and Grace.


It was a relief to realize to hear from established writers and producers. Hear about their journeys, each varied. Me? I'm into dramatic plays, political dramas, feel good comedies, stories that pass the Bechdel Test, and stories with women written as people. So if you need me, I'll be running towards THAT.

Thoughts Inspired By "The Sexy Lie" TED Talk by Caroline Heldman

My good friend Claire Kaplan, posted a link to a TED Talk entitled The Sexy Lie.

I wrote this about it on Facebook:

Some new thoughts, some old in this compelling video. On what it means to be a sex object, its repercussions, and whether there is power in being a sex object. Here are a few ideas that jumped out at me (TL;DW?):

•  "Subjects act, objects are acted upon. So even if you become a the perfect sex object, you are perfectly subordinate because that position will always be acted upon. So there's no power in being a sex object." 

• New communication technologies (Internet, tablets, smart phones, blahblah) = more exposure to media = more exposure to ads (5,000 ads/day in 2011, children spend ~8 hours/day with media). To cut through the clutter, advertisers increase hyper-sexualization of their content. 

• "Men are being sold this idea--constantly--that they are sexual subjects. It makes them feel powerful to see objectified women everywhere. And for women, we are being sold the idea that this is how we get our value and this is how we become the ideal sex object." 

• Old thought, but I like the term "pretty girl pecking order" because it's just so apt: "We compete with other women for our own self-esteem, because we see [male attention] as a finite resource. So we go into parties and we know where we are in the pretty girl pecking order."

And some new vocabulary I picked up for this brave new world of "hyper-sexualization":

• Self-objectification: "A key process whereby girls [and women] learn to think and treat their bodies as objects of others' desire" (Zubriggen e t al, 2007:2) 

• Habitual body monitoring: Behavior like knowing the positioning of your legs, your hair, the light, who's looking at you, who's not. (The idea that this constant body monitoring takes up mental space that could be better used.)

Relevant thoughts from the inimitable Amanda Palmer:  "I want to live in a world where the internal dialogue of a woman’s brain has evolved to the point where a female performer can wear a sex-pot outfit and, instead of the all-too-common head-chatter chorus of “UNFAIR! MANIPULATED! WEAK! MANIPULATIVE! EVIL!”, she dons her sexy costume and hears internal voices screaming “FAIR! POWERFUL! PLAYFUL! BRAVE! SEXY!” You know…you go girl. But not “You go girl and be manipulated by the man, or manipulate the men in your wake”. Just…'you go girl and wear whatever the fuck you want. And play smart.' " 

Here are Claire's comment on my Facebook post. I think this is the "personal action" we need to take--men and women:

I need to remind myself, if I'm habitually body monitoring, others are too. So how do we distract and support each other? What can we say to make someone feel beautiful and valued for their presence? How do we make every single person we come into contact with feel emotionally and intellectually sexy? If we can do those things, people stop obsessing about themselves and start solving world hunger and making better theatre. I know a few people like that and I want to be around them all the time.

She's absolutely right. I do know people who do this everyday, all the time--it can be done. It's not about being a "nice" person (whooo-eee, is that a whole different conversation), it's about valuing another person for their presence. I also dig this idea of making every single person we come into contact with feel emotionally and intellectually sexy.

May we all go forth and practice a little bit more mindful appreciation of others today and every day.