A Junot Diaz Quote & Fresh Off the Boat

"You guys know about vampires?" Diaz asked. "You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There's this idea that monsters don't have reflections in a mirror. And what I've always thought isn't that monsters don't have reflections in a mirror. It's that if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves. And growing up, I felt like a monster in some ways. I didn't see myself reflected at all. I was like, "Yo, is something wrong with me? That the whole society seems to think that people like me don't exist? And part of what inspired me, was this deep desire that before I died, I would make a couple of mirrors. That I would make some mirrors so that kids like me might seem themselves reflected back and might not feel so monstrous for it." (source)

Nearly cried watching the pilot of Fresh off the Boat this morning. There were clunky lines that I forgave for obvious reasons (I want to see more 3-Dimensions APA's onscreen) and I'm wary of how heavily race issues / identities will define this show. Constance Wu is a stunning tornado of fierce love for her family and her heritage. I see pieces of my own mother in her, although they are very different people.

Best Theatre I've Seen in My Life, So Far

2014 has been a year of lists, hasn't it? This is a short list. It's a list of the best productions I've seen in my life so far. These plays made my heart hum. Held me in rapture. Moved me like a psychoreligious experience. This is the kind of theatre that makes me want to make theatre.

In chronological order:

The Seagull (2010)
Directed by Tom Dugdale at UC San Diego
Production history here. 

A Man, His Wife, And His Hat (2011)
Directed by Joshua K Brody at UC San Diego's Baldwin New Play Festival
Written By Lauren Yee
Production history here.

In 2012's defense, I was in a bunch of productions that year in the middle of the desert and didn't see as much theatre.

Our Town (October 2013)
Directed by Tom Dugdale
Produced by The Trip Theater
Production history here.

Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind (February 2014)
Produced by San Francisco Neo-Futurists
About the ongoing, ever-changing show here.

Dance of the Holy Ghosts (September 2014)
Directed by Michael Moran
Produced by Ubuntu Theater Project
Production history here.

Marguerite to Maya Angelou (September 2014)
Directed by Michael Moran
Produced by Ubuntu Theater Project
Production history here.


Close runner ups: Waiting for Lefty (Sept 2014 by Ubuntu Theater Project) and Radicalisation of Bradley Manning (Sept 2014 by Ubuntu Theater Project)

Girl Most Likely (2012): Almost Your Average Indie Flick

Girl Most Likely (2012)
IMDb score of 5.7/10, Rotten Tomatoes Rating of 21%

My score? Medium to enjoyable! Memorable moments include: Imogene (Kristen Wiig) and her brother Ralph talk about Ralph's crush, exploring the world and  broadening one's horizons at the Ocean City boardwalk; a climactic moment when Imogene and her would be New York city friend Dara—a delightfully mean June Diane Raphael, who I normally find very medium at best—get to duke it out at a fancy dinner party.

My absolute favorite moment involves Zelda (a deliciously ditzy and endearing Annette Benning) and Imogene's memory of her birthday parties. She remembers her mother as a cheapskate who, because of her reckless gambling habits, combined Imogene and Ralph's birthday parties, despite the fact that her brother's birthday comes 84 days after hers.

"Do you know how embarrassing it is celebrate your birthday 84 days after your birthday?" (paraphrased...)

Later, we find out Zelda combined their birthday parties because no one would have come to Ralph's party. A single mother, trying her best, with the resources she has.

The set-up to this movie is a little clunky and formulaic, which makes it feel... Well, not much. But the more we learn about the characters, the more they become people (and less just indie flick archetypes) and the more we care about them, no matter what absurd situation they find themselves in.

And at the end of the day, I will watch Kristen Wiig in practically anything. 

Thank You

Dear Mom,

It's taken me 25 years to look outside of myself and begin looking at all the little things you've done for me my whole life.

Thank you for making me put my head under a running shower head. Even when I thought I'd drown. Thank you for teaching me how to wear a training bra, even though I blushed and probably shouted that I didn't need one. And thanks for pointing out how boobs spillover and how to avoid that when you put your bra on. And all those other things about being a girl I had to learn and then learn how to hide.

Thank you for loving me, despite the monthly, roof-raising, wall-shaking scream matches we had when I was in high school. Thanks for teaching me how to apologize and mean it. How to hear another person, no matter how angry or hurt you feel. And thank you for seeing me clearly: I do indulge in my emotions. I've been working on it since you named it so boldly. But you see how much I try, too.

Thank you for taking so much of your time and spending it on me (and Josh and Jonathan), trying your best to make sure we didn't grow up to be deadbeat jerks. Even though you didn't know you wanted to be a mom, even though you had to learn so much on your own.

Thank you for all of that and more. I am who I am today because 50% of my genes are yours, but also because your strength, wisdom, and wackiness shaped me into who I am.

I love you!
Katharine

These are a few ideas that keep surfacing every time I hear smart/accomplished people talk or observe smart/accomplished people work. This is applicable to all folks who are trying to break into the entertainment industry.

1. Create. Write. For all the aforementioned reasons and also: JUST DO IT! 
   If you're into multi-cam sitcoms, watch those obsessively and break them down into pieces, find the structure. If you're into hour long political dramas a la Aaron Sorkin, watch those obsessively and find the structure in the episodes. If you're into dramatic plays, ensemble plays, whatever it is: consume them, observe them, break them down, put them back together again. It'll make you a better actor, writer, director, creator, whatever!
2. Work begets work. 
   To get that next job, you must work hard now. To get that first job, see #1. It might not be creatively fulfilling work, but it will keep you working and if you're trying to establish a career, these links matter. If getting that first job is too hard, make that first job. (Write that spec, put up that one man show, join that Improv class, produce that play, tape that web series.)
3. Find your people.
   No matter where you are, find your people. Find the people who want to create the same things as you: TV? Films? Theatre? Musicals? Comedies? Sketch? Improv? Find these people. You will teach each other, grow together, and create together.
4. Don't show up empty handed.
   When you find your people or when searching for your people, you'll want to have something to bring to the table. That's why #1 and #2 are so important. Plus, a great bonus for following #1 and #2: it keeps bullshit thoughts like "Why haven't I made it yet?" and "Why is this so hard?" and "Where is the pizza?" at bay. The power to create--the thing we claim we want so badly to do--is in our hands.
5. It's about stamina.
   I've heard a lot of people say "If there's anything, anything else you'd rather be doing in the world, go do that. This business is so, so, so hard and there's no guarantee that it will pay off." My professor and mentor framed it in a way I think is more digestible: "Do you still have the stamina for it?" Given all the shitty jobs you've taken on, the sacrifices you've made, that extra major you took on at college but have never used in a work setting--is it still worth it? If the answer is yes, carry on my wayward son and fight the good fight! Because there are a million things you could be doing, but you chose to do this. And remember: #'s 1 and 2 will keep you falling in love with the work, which will only help you persevere.

Thoughts on Comedy@SCA's Beyond Bridesmaids Panel

I spent a glorious afternoon listening to five amazing comedy writers talk about their lives--where they started, how they "made it" as writers, and their perspectives on breaking into the industry. Some experiences stories were specific to women, most were not. All of the thoughts shared were enlightening and empowering.

Thank you to USC's School of Cinematic Arts for offering this panel for free to the public. See the full panel details here.

My takeaways from the panel:

ON WRITING

Don't See What You Like? Write It
Tracy Oliver, writer / producer / actor of The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl and more, another smartie who completed her undergraduate degree at Stanford, didn't see roles for the kind of black women she knew existed--so she wrote them. When Tracy wrote her own story, she added another dimension to the way we view awkward people, nerdy people, and yes, women and black people too.

Don't Know What to Write? Write What You Want to See
Katie Dippold, celebrated writer (in my books) of The Heat and Parks and Recreation, loved buddy cops growing up. (She aspired, at one point, to join the FBI.) She always imagined a buddy cop montage that--instead of featuring the odd couple on motor cycles, each with a beach babe (gal) behind them--featured herself and her gal cop counterpart on the motor cycles, each with a beach babe (guy) spooning them. So she wrote The Heat.

Finding Your Style
Although it's not for my lengthy circumlocution, Jen Statsky, also a writer on Parks and Recreation and on Hello Ladies, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and more, realized that Twitter was perfect for her style of humor: short jokes. So she wrote and wrote and wrote then one day A.D. Miles (Head Writer of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon) DM-ed her and the rest is history in the making.

ON YOUR MINDSET

Stop Chasing That A+
Dana Fox, creator of Ben and Kate and writer / producer of tons of great comedies, was a self-proclaimed approval seeker. Even as a smart, successful, accomplished Stanford undergrad and then USC's Stark Producing Program grad, Dana had to teach herself to stop "chasing that A+" in life. In other words, to stop chasing perfection and approval. (A mindset she suspects is more common in women.) Her advice? Stop chasing the approval. You are going to fail at some point. Stop fearing it. When it happens, learn from it and carry on.

Your Win is My Win
Bridesmaid's success was a success not just for all women, but for all comedy writers, movie makers, comedians. It's easy to view success as a block of cheese with a finite number of slices to go around, but the good news is, we are creators: we create our own cheese. (Dana kept coming back to this cheese metaphor. It stuck for me, but may be totally confusing for you.) Which leads me to my next takeaway...

Help Each Other
We know how hard it is to get started in this confusing, amorphous industry. When you can, reach out to people whose work you admire, even if their resumes are light, and take them under your wing. Conversely, if you've got no credits and little experience, keep creating, keep working, keep volunteering, and be prepared. (Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.)

ON OTHER STUFF

Manage Your Money
You won't get paid for awhile, but when you do, save it, because you it might be three years until your next paycheck. Remember all the people who will take a cut of it before you go on a spending spree: agent, manager, Uncle Sam, rent, bills, just to name a few.

Women Must Be Likeable -- Nope!
Dana commented that viewers are often harder on women. For a female character to gain an audience on television, she must be likeable. She pointed out how women like Tina Fey have broken this rule, proving that a female character does not have to be likeable to be successful. I'd also like to point to Elaine of Seinfeld, Grace of Will and Grace.


It was a relief to realize to hear from established writers and producers. Hear about their journeys, each varied. Me? I'm into dramatic plays, political dramas, feel good comedies, stories that pass the Bechdel Test, and stories with women written as people. So if you need me, I'll be running towards THAT.

Mulholland Drive Therapy

I had a weird day. One of those cloudy-brained, lethargic days. I got some good work done in the morning but much of the afternoon was lost to insipid television watching. I needed a kick in the pants. Or a breath of fresh air. I chose the latter.

When I lived in San Diego and Ridgecrest, the solution to pretty much any ennui-related problem was a long drive. So I thought I'd give that a shot here. I googled "Best Night Drives Los Angeles" and tons of hits for Mulholland Drive came up. Perfect! I'll knock out two birds with one stone--a Los Angeles classic and I'll clear my mind!

Wrong.

Mistake #1: Rush Hour
I knew it was rush hour. I knew it'd take a few minutes of traffic sitting to get to Mulholland Drive, but what I didn't realize was (even though I read it online before heading out) THIS IS A VERY DANGEROUS ROAD.

Mistake #2: "The Country's Most Dangerous Road" - A Yelp Reviewer
Also, people are driving too fast, the road is high up, I am gonna die I am gonna die I am gonna die.

I only made it about 1/5 of the way down the scenic road, I think. It wasn't very therapeutic because it took all of my energy to watch the road, watch for oncoming traffic (and make sure they saw me), and watching the cars behind me.

I did get to stop a few times (before I got nervous and imagined a grisly, torturous death by murderous stranger and drove off) and also took this grainy cell-phone photo. Now imagine 50 angels are singing in your heart and in your eyes and that's how I felt looking at this.

Mulholland Drive at Night